While we are far from “normal”, there’s a lot of people like me out there who really like diapers.
For some, diapers are just a peripheral element- something that could possibly come into play but aren’t particularly special.
- Watersports enthusiasts might appreciate their functionality
- Long-term bondage practitioners might appreciate their utility in extending a scene
- Humiliation/degradation lovers might use their symbolic nature as a tool
- Age-players might incorporate them as a piece of costume
- Dominants might use them as a form of control
These people aren’t necessarily “diaper lovers”- they’re just a bit kinky . . .
Adult-Baby/Diaper-Lover (ABDL or AB/DL) is a catch-all tag that is used to label a diverse community of kinky or otherwise unusual people, encompassing a broad spectrum of related interests.
At one end are the Adult Babies whose primary focus is regression into a state of Infantilism. At the other end are the Diaper-Lovers who are fetishists, entirely focused on the diaper as a fetish object. ABDLs usually are a bit of both, and it’s common for ABDL’s to self-identify with percentages, as in “I’m about 70% DL and 30% AB“. This AB vs. DL continuum easy to understand, but it’s far too simple to really describe the true diversity of the ABDL community.
Instead, BitterGrey plots ABDLs in a triangle, with different themes at each point:
(italicized text copied from his site).
Together, these 3 themes do a much better job of describing some of the primary elements that we ABDLs often have in common.
- The Fetish element– the diaper as an object of desire.
Role & Mindset- No inherent change in role or mindset.
Comparable to- Fetishism
- Submission/Masochism/Humiliation/Emasculation- giving up or losing control, suffering discomfort or embarrassment, being dominated, exposed, and/or forced into a degrading or lower-status role.
Focus- Loss of status & control.
Role & Mindset– Change in role. Role and mindset don’t match.
Comparable to– Masochism
- Regression/ subspace- entering into an altered state of mind where you break from your every-day reality and take on a different role.
For most ABs, regression into a childlike or infantile state is the goal- giving up your adult responsibilities and stressors for the comfort of being helpless & nurtured.
This role could also be expressed by a sub in a BDSM scene- finding the freedom that comes from being totally involved in a scene.
Focus- Change in role
Role & Mindset- Role and mindset change and match
Comparable to– Transvestism
Why “Ridiculously-Thick Diapers“??
- The Fetish element– if you like diapers, it easily follows that you might like MORE diapers. Thick diapers are more noticeable, and can involve collecting many types & sizes–geeking out on the qualities of each and deciding which to use in successive layers. The layered diaper becomes a creation- an Über-diaper. A one-of-a-kind, transient example of a fetish object.
- Submission- to be a “responsible” adult–but submit to wearing diapers like a baby–is to give up your adult dignity and self-determination. The more obvious the diaper, the greater the submission. You don’t just happen to be wearing a diaper as part of your submission- your gigantic diaper is the ultimate symbol of your submission.
- Masochism- a huge diaper can be a great tool to make someone suffer. A soaked or messed diaper can be very uncomfortable, especially if you are forced to wear it for extended periods of time. The diaper itself can be a source of discomfort, with balls crushed, skin pinched. and joints tweaked. But for a diapered masochist, this is all good fun.
- Humiliation- few things are as inherently humiliating as an adult wearing diapers. The implied role is infantile-incapable of controlling your most basic body functions. The disgust factor is especially degrading- the observer knows that the diapered person may likely be soaking in their own urine or worse. The potential for humiliation expands along with the diaper’s thickness. A thick diaper is hard to hide, so it’s much more likely that someone will notice it. A well-layered diaper has a huge capacity, so the wearer can potentially soak it for a long period while the diaper grows riper & riper. Even if it’s covered up, the smell of the diaper exposes the wearer. A “ridiculously-thick” diaper goes even further. At a certain point, it becomes a costume of sorts. It announces that the wearer wants (or is being forced) to advertise the fact that they are wearing diapers. Not simply a weird person who happens to be wearing an obvious diaper- they are clearly a freak, seeking to be exposed and humiliated.
- Emasculation- obviously this theme applies primarily to men, though the basic elements of it are certainly experienced by women as well. Our society puts pressure on us to be strong and powerful. To wear diapers (especially to be made to wear diapers by someone else) shows that we are powerless. You exchange the status of an adult for that of an infant–everyone is stronger & more powerful, more “in charge” than you (proven by the fact that at the very least they, unlike you, have the ability to control their bladder and bowels). A diaper restricts and covers your genitalia, making them less relevant. A ridiculously-thick diaper totally negates your genitals- they become invisible under the padding, and the padding dulls most stimulation and certainly prevents them from being used for “adult purposes”.
- Regression/ subspace- diapers are an important symbol and accessory for the descent into a regressed or submissive head-space.
It might be “I’m wearing a diaper (costume) only because I’m playing the part of a big baby (or diapered slave)”.
Or, the diaper can re-enforce the scene, as in “I’m obviously a big baby (or diapered slave) because I’m wearing a diaper.
Or, the diaper can be the primary element of the scene. “I wear a huge wet diaper, so I must be a big baby.
A reasonable diaper can be easily forgotten- you become accustomed to wearing it, it’s easily hidden, and you mostly forget it’s there.
A ridiculously-thick diaper can not be ignored. No normal clothing will hide it, it makes you sit and walk differently, it is always present- a huge bulk wrapped around you.
This constant reminder of the fact that you are wearing a diaper helps maintain that state of regression or subspace.